02 Jun Mom of the Week – Caitlin Hayes: Lawyer, Mother of 5, Spiritual Counselor
What do you love to do with your children? How old are they? And what is your greatest wish for them?
I love to be in nature with my children. Whether it’s in the woods, or at the beach, I love the clarity and perspective I can get with them in the surroundings of natural beauty and peace. I have four children spanning the ages from 5-1; Jasmin, Mikayla, Annalise and Ryan Matthew. My greatest wish for them is to have confidence in their decision-making, to maintain close and loving bonds with one another, and to follow their passions with gusto. And of course, to have a deep belief in God, faith and our connectivity to all things.
When and where are you the happiest?
Before I had children, it was certainly ‘anywhere but here’ and any thrilling traveling adventure could suffice. Nowadays, I have been blessed with enough challenges to know that when I have a calm moment, irrespective of any chaos around me, and am able to connect with myself, and with God source, I am genuinely my happiest. More clearly, I have learned and believe that inner peace supplants happiness as an aspiring goal. I have been on an intensive journey since my mother died in 2004, a journey believing that anxiety, worry and discontent cannot be our ‘normal’ state of existing. Now I intellectually understand that no thing, or person, or place can make me happy, and I spiritually connect to that which does make me happy; knowing I am striving towards enlightenment. My facebook page, has encouraging updates about shifting our perceptions to view experiences and challenges as opportunities to deepen the degree of peace in our lives.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I have been a wanderlust traveler for most of my life. I’ve lived in Hong Kong, Belgium, Belize, Chile and Dubai. I am enjoying my journey within, to self discovery, creativity and vibrant vitality that breathes in me each second of the day. So though I would love to go back to Causeway Bay in Hong Kong, or the Amalfi Coast of Italy, the more I understand about the beauty of my own miracle of existence, the more I realize that is the most magnificent place for me to dwell. I have learned and now assist people who are having a hard time accepting their present situation and wanting more fulfillment out of their lives. My radio show discusses a range of techniques and topics to push you deeper onto your journey of living in heaven on earth.
Who has had the biggest influence upon you? And what quality do you most admire in a mother?
Ironically, I have had the biggest influence over myself. Because I have suffered so deeply through eating disorders, premature death of my mother, studying international politics and human rights (which can be quite disenchanting), and an embattled relationship with my partner, I have developed so much. I have sought out teachers and soothers to expand from my then present hell into teetering in our heaven on earth (that exists in our minds). And from my evolutions I have learned about the common ailments of the human conditions (having suffered from them) and the solutions to overcoming, accepting and living in our present life. Striving towards truth has been my biggest influence.
I admire mothers that take the lead with their parenting, that determine the right course of action for their children based on their empirical conclusions, and their own intuition.
I am writing a book on using your children as your spiritual practice, incidentally, and using my children as part of my practice has transformed my mothering and my relationship with them.
What do you like to do for fun?
I love to dance! I don’t get to do it much anymore, but I love the freedom of movement. I also love exercising. I really enjoy striving for perfection in my physical form. I find my profession as a trusts and estates attorney very enjoyable, as well. Realizing that dealing with death as a foreseen consequence of life, and confronting choices, opportunities and strategies for protecting one’s heirs, and one’s assets and business interests, positions me to act as a confidant into my client’s deepest wishes and intentions as well. I take that responsibility as a spiritual duty. As it turns out, one of my callings is helping people come to terms with their own mortality and through that, organizing their affairs and preparing their wishes; it brings me a great deal of satisfaction and joy.
What is one of your favorite books? Movies?
My favorite, most useful books I have ever read are: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Nichomechean Ethics by Aristotle. I love movies; my favorites include political thrillers like Ides of March, and Burnt By the Sun. I also enjoy love stories like The Vow.
What do you feel is one of your strongest qualities?
Acceptance has become my strongest quality. Striving towards accepting challenges gracefully and without resistance has transformed my life. Resourcefulness would be my second. I can adapt and modify, and remodify, where necessary in my spiritual business planning, estate planning practice and in my mothering. Also, my ability to persevere over obstacles with determination has made me very proud.
What is your favorite type of food and what do you love to cook?
I love Thai food. My favorite meal is a salad, and I think I make them the best. My children eat a lot of soup! I have grown to enjoy making soup for them.
What is your favorite time of the day and why?
Dusk. The quiet of the night is exhilarating for me. Also, I get my alone time for meditations and as every mother knows, when your children have had a good day, ate well, and are sleeping, there are few feelings that can compare to that satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.
Where is your favorite place to Party with Moms and what’s your favorite drink?
My favorite place to Party with Moms is a venue with live music and dancing. Though as of late I have become quite a lightweight, my favorite drink is a margarita on the rocks, with salt.